The patter of feet followed by a burst of speed abruptly sent the small tanned thief thru the doors of a restaurant establishment. Even as her feet slapped against the floor like a fish on wood, the sound of her stomach rumbling could seemingly be heard over all the small talk conversation that was buzzing throughout the venue. Hoping over the anti-line cutting rope, Waffles pushed people out of the way as she ran by in a flurry, rapidly stocking up a multitude of things on her plate. Gravy slouched on an old lady, as a frenzied piece of chicken flew off into someone in the crowd’s eye. Hoping on the counter to circumvent all the people traffic, she continued to pile her plate with as much as possible before turning around, and trying to jump off of the counter back onto the fancy pants Marble.

For a moment her legs continued to move in a running motion, her arms as well, though she made sure to spill nothing on the plate, not a single drop of gravy was lost. Yet soon she thieving girl realized that she wasn’t getting any closer to the ground or moving at all. Only now that she noticed this, did she notice the ominous shadow that loomed over her small being. Turning her head to the side, she was staring in the face of the chubby faced owner of the establishment who was currently wielding a giant spatula. ”I Rec’n you had thought da’ register was dat’da way, huh, Waffles?” He smiled at the girl jovially, as she cursed under her breath, knowing what was about to happen.

”Humbo I’m starrrrrrvvvvvvvvvinguh! You just wanna be the reason a little girl starves?” Tears were beginning to swell in the large crystalline orbs, as her lip quivered endlessly. Continuing she said, ”All-I-wanna-do-is-not-be-hungry.” Sniffling between every word, she sobbed audibly and crazily, causing the patrons of the restaurant to look in her direction. Slapping the girl on the arm with the spatula, Humbo released the girl, shoo’ing her away as she stuck her tongue out at him. Pulling up a chair at a nearby table, she had ignored the fact that there was already a person there, believing her presence alone making it okay. Stuffing her mouth the girl said to the Snake-tailed Cyborg, ”Imvssmma Wavsfles. Whfso’s you?” Swallowing hard she repeated, ”I’m Waffles, who’s you?” Such social grace, she thought to herself as she wiped the scam tears out of her eye.

With the way Chesha had her plate set up, you would think that two had come from similar circumstances, though just eyeing her Waffles could tell that wasn’t true. Scarred, slightly dirty, and without shoes was the Marksman’s M.O., looking much like a baby bandit in training more than anyone with serious goals. Giving a cornbread clad grin at the compliment, she muttered thru the mess of food, ”Dank you!”, before swallowing hard, and continuing. ”I wish….most of deez people have some sort of problem wit’ me for whatever reason. It’s like you loot one person, scam another, and BAM!” Abruptly standing to her feet on top of the chair the girl finished, ”Everyone starts bein’ all hateful to ya.” Sitting herself down from her rallied performance, she picked ignored the fork that was waiting on the table for her, instead simply picking up a handful of mashed potatoes and jamming them into her gullet.

Her eyes seemed to roll back for a moment as mashed potato mixed saliva dribbled down her chin before she her tongue went to save the delicious morsels. Humbo always had some of the best shit, and he was always a pretty friendly guy...which is why he was on her hit list. She knew if she could get her hands on the recipes and sell them on the Black Market she could make a fortune! Well maybe not a fortune, but a lot of money nonetheless! Absent-mindedly the bandana wearing misfit began to rub her palms together as she sometimes did when she thought of her diabolical schemes. The maniacal cackle would have quickly followed suit if she didn’t realize she had smeared mashed potatoes between her fingers.

Bringing her small hands to her mouth, Waffles began to lap up the creases of her fingers, as she said between licks, ”Nice ta meetcha, Allahz and Chellz. Where are ma’ manners.” She was a thief, not a rude bastard. Extending her newly cleaned hands, she clasped her hand around Ajeh’s neck, shaking him slightly before leaning over more and pushing the hand in front of Chesha and her dish, as to hopefully not be ignored. It was alarming how little she was actually bothered by a talking snake, but weird occurrences were the norm to her. It was better than that one guy who ate a Devil Fruit that gave his elbow an extra mouth. All that stupid thing did was talk. Wielding what looked like a dinosaur hand in her free hand, Waffles bit down carnivorously on it, as she began to chew loudly. Mhmmmm, calories.

As Chesha firmly took and shook her small hand, she returned to her edible delights. Waffles plate had began to look like a beautiful disaster of color, as the many food items began to collide together, no separation between them at all. That’s how she liked it, a jumbled mess, which was likely a token of her having to eat out of the trash at times. Things didn’t seem to bad if it was all mushed together. Heck, sometimes like that you got to taste something good within the compilation of mixed foods. Such things like that almost made Waffles okay that she scavenging to begin with. It was the little things in life man, the little things. As she gulped down another bite of something she couldn’t readily recognize anymore, she shot out, ”Ya know what Chellz and Allahz, I think y’all kinna cool. Not like, extra dank 360noscope kinna cool, but just relaxin’ to be around.”

If only she knew she was sharing the table with a serial killer that ate people...nothing at all would have changed. Nonetheless, as she was about to prod into what it was exactly that Chesha had been doing here anyway, she was interrupted by some rare bird consigliere that had found a way to brown nose into their table. Whipping her head to face him, the long thick ponytail of auburn whipped across his face before she stood to her feet and placed her finger against his forehead, ”Who d’ya think ya are? Talkin’ bout mythical golden birds that no one has ever even caught. IT’S A MYTH I TELL YA, MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTH!!!” Removing her nose from his nose, the man looked in awe at his newly gravy stained face as Waffles turned around and sat back down at the table as if nothing had happened, returning to a handful of rice as she did so.

Speaking as loudly as she could since they were being easedropped on anyway she said, ”But maybe we should look into it, since dat’s what bearded ugly wants us to check out. Lemme just break out my handy dandy rare bird flight pattern tracker.” Rolling her eyes at her own sarcasm, she looked towards Chellz as she inquired, ”Though you wouldn’t happen to know the patterns of such a bird would you? Or maybe you, Allahz. Did you come with a terrain gizmo for finding golden oskritchez? Lemme know, and we can go shoot this thing!” Removing her revolver from her waistband, she brandished it for a short moment, before playing it back, just to let the man know that she was packin’ if he tried something with his gravy mouth.

As Chesha began to enter a discussion with the bearded old fuck, a smug grin crossed Waffles face, as she thought to herself, ”Yesssssssssssssss. FEAR ME!” This time her malicious cackle couldn’t be calmed by the realization of potato hands, thus she let it out as if she were a singular hyena. Because of her deep laughing, she could barely hear the man’s explanation of where the flightless bird could be as well as their origin story which was less intriguing than a fat man sitting on a couch for 47 hours straight. Yet the fit of demonic laughter ended as the snake-bearing tail girl slammed her fist against the table, sending her spoon cascading thru the air. Following the projection of the utensil, a dull splash echoed for a moment as it landed in another restaurant goers drink. Something which they hadn’t noticed as it occurred. With her eyes fixed, Waffles said more to herself than anyone else, ”Waaaaaaait for it.”

Standing as still as a statue, the small adolescent watched joyfully as the slender blonde lady picked up her cup, and began taking devine gulps up it. Well she had started, before the erect spoon hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag abruptly and spit out the piece of metal. Furiously drinking her water to try and stop from puking, Waffles began to howl in more laughter, wanting to lean over and high five Chellz for such a well time (and placed) prank. By now, Humbo had slank off to go see if he would potentially have to save someone from dying. People dying in your establishment could really mess up our business ya know? Instead he only ran up to be slapped by the blonde, which he retorted by slapping his mighty spatula on top of her head. An explosion of chaos began to ensue, as her man attempted to battle back with Humbo, but was put thru a table as a side-effect.


As Chesha mentioned attempting to go catch the mythological broken bird, Waffles nodded in agreement, if for nothing else so that she could poach some more food while the owner was busy laying the smackdown on the couple. Pushing her chair back, slamming into their nosy neighbors chair, the girl hopped up abruptly as she said, ”Sounds like-a plan! There’s gotta be one or two out there somewhere right?”  It was amazing how quickly she went from disagreeing with someone she didn’t like, versus how quickly her mind changed when the suggestion was made by someone she did. Patting Allahz a quick moment, Waffles slank slowly across the floor towards the food stand and began to rack up more things on her plate before fleeing the establishment. Rounding the corner, she ate handfuls of veal, before peaking out (hopefully at Chesha) and whispering, ”Psssssssssssssssssssst, ya comin’?”

PPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH, was the sound that echoed throughout the bustling bistro as a body came cascading thru the window, hitting the ground right behind Chesha and her pet body part as they came out eating biscuits. Damn that shit looked good. Both the biscuit and the now unconscious human being. One day people would learn not to fuck with the might that was Humbo. As dank as his food was, he was also a half-giant who used to give no fucks before he picked up a pan and started doing something more constructive than splitting skulls. But it seemed like the slap had brought the worse back out of him. Yet he would be complaining in a few months about having to renovate his restaurant because people just couldn’t eat his delectables peacefully, while giving a piercing stare at Waffles as he did so. That didn’t matter though, at the end of the day his heart was big for the juvenile, so he’d still keep letting her be a fuck up in his space regardless.


Calmed by such thoughts, the small girl looked up at the biscuit consumer before her, nodding as she retorted, ” I damn sure ain’t ner’ seen one of those bastards out here. Maybe they all flew away or sumn.” It was beginning to become blissfully obvious that the girl didn’t even know what an ostrich actually was. She didn’t read books, she only had time to scavenge for survival and cause disarray for fun. When did anyone find time to read about bald flightless animals. Nonetheless, Allahz seemed to have some sort of understanding of what exactly an ostrich would be, as well helping the small girl break down where they would need to go to find one. However there was no way she was about to admit she knew what an ostrich looked like, instead she mused, ”Yep, dat was my first thought. Farm territory...amongst the trees...plains and shit, ya know? Your Oskritch tracker has only confirmed what I knew.”


Again, she patted Allahz on his head for having an idea that was second to her own. Licking her finger, she placed it in the air, checking the direction of the wind like it mattered (though she seen navigators do it, so maybe it would navigate her to the ostriches. With a slight hmmmmmm sound, Waffles snapped her fingers as she bellowed, ”I got it! I know where dey are!” Obviously she had no clue, but she was a native of Logue, so she knew all of the areas that Allahz had described. ”Come on, just past da slums, dhere’s a open field thingy. Usually stuff eats there and junk.” She didn’t add that sometimes she ate there too, mostly butchering the animals for their meat to bring back to town and try and sell. Who cared about an angry farmer, when you needed food? Pointing an index finger towards the darker side of town, the girl began to trot on all fours, digging in the pockets of the unconscious person, taking his Beli, watch, and pistol from his person.

”Waaaaaaait a minute…” Stopping where she was, she turned the pistol upside down and began to beat on the unconscious man’s forearm vigorously, breaking it along the wrist. Standing to her feet, Waffles placed her dirty toes around the elbow of the unfortunate being to hold him in place, before procuring a razor blade from her cheek and beginning to carve and cut into the flesh. As the poor fellows blood oozed, the girl continued sawing thru tendons and nerves, before the hand freed itself from the body it was formerly attached to. A light smirk slid across her face, as she waved around the hand as if such an act was completely normal. And maybe it wasn’t normal, but she always made sure to do for her friends if she could. She may not have been a speciality on National Geographic's, but she did know that snakes consumed meat...maybe even the mechanical type.


Placing the hand in Allahz face, she was hoping he would take it, as the blood began to run down her arm and the patron began to mutter, as he roused himself, the suffering of his missing appendage beginning to come to fruition as Waffles holstered her pistol, put the blade back in her cheek, and picked up the plate of food that she had managed to scrape up. After doing all this, she gave the pair a thumbs up as she said, ”Some whore told me dat a happy snake is a good snake. Her being a slag and all, I’m pretty sure she had a different meanin’ of snake, but still!” As she finished her statement, a voice from behind her screamed, ”JESUS FUCK. MY GODDAMN HAND. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GODDAMN HAND!” Freaking out as he rolled around in half circles like a poorly pushed log, Waffles cringed a bit for him before shrugging her shoulders.


Beckoning Chesha to follow her she said, ”C’mon. I got da place. But since we’re goin’ past the slums anywayz, I gotta drop dis food off to the little ones.” Of all the orphans and homeless kids, Waffles was the eldest, so she took it upon herself to make sure they were taken care of. Cutting people’s hand’s off was just something extra. But other than that, it was the reason she had worked her way into the professions she had chosen. Most who knew her on the surface would call her a selfish douchebag who only takes her stuff. Those without materials and things would say otherwise. Maybe she was Robin Hood...or Robbing Hood. ”So whadya say? It won’t eem be dat long. Sides, da kids love people’s like you. On top dat, I also think it’s important to spread da word oskritches can’t fly. Who knew??” A smug grin flashed on her face once more, as the deep dimples protruded on her face. In all actuality, she just wanted to show off her new friend to the old ones.