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1In and Out Empty In and Out Fri Aug 05, 2016 9:49 am

Pooch


Pooch
Moving his weight from side to side, Alessi gazed out from the public bench that he was sitting on. From this position he was able to look out over all the tables, outside of the restaurant. The trial here obviously was to spot a half finished meal before one the employees of 'The Crusty Clam' could. He still couldn't exactly get over that name, it was the sort of thing that you put up for as a joke, never actually following through with it. 'Hey guys, I had a great idea. We're in an extremely competitive market in a building that no doubt has extremely high costs for rent, why don't we call it The Crusty Clam, that's bound to make people want to eat from there!' That said, it wasn't like Alessi was exactly in a position to judge their business decisions, as they seemed to be going off without a hitch, customers regularly entering and leaving the premises and some even eating outside. These were the only ones that mattered, if he kept walking in and out of the store to go for the scraps of food on the table the authorities would be alerted quickly, something that he wasn't exactly wanting to deal with in any hurry. However, if he stuck around the outside, waited for the right moment when no one was looking, it was possible to go in and take the scraps of food without anyone noticing at all. He could recall doing things similar to this in his youth with his two younger sisters, ducking about through the rows of tables grabbing anything that they could. Of course back then he had no shame and didn't care for the consequences, so they ended up getting caught, a lot. It almost seemed a little ironic, what he was doing now that he was older mirroring the actions that he would take in his youth. It would seem that despite everything he had wagered, he hadn't managed to go anywhere at all.

His pink eyes narrowing, he watched as a relatively formally dressed man stood up and walked off towards the bathroom. On the table to Fancy-Pant's right was a chubby balding man wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt and shorts that revealed a little too much than Alessi ever wanted to see, on the right were two blond children, siblings probably, arguing with each other about something that didn't matter. This was it, the time to go in for the kill, so to speak. Hopefully this would end up better than the expired lobster he had eaten from the tip the night before...

Darting forward with surprising speed, Alessi weaved between the cheap plastic tables, moving closer towards his prize. A half eaten piece of fish with a few thick golden potato chips to the side. As steam plumed out from the mea, Alessi couldn't help but think that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, up there with the Sistine Chapel ceiling and the Les Demoiselles d'Avignon on second thought, it wasn't as good as Campbell's Soup Cans.

He couldn't really tell you why, it was probably because of a lot of factors, his greed and stupidity being the highest, but Alessi essentially blocked out the outside world as he was moving to snatch up the objectively shitty meal. Whatever it was, as he reached out to claim his prize, he found the dull pain of a hand wrapping around his wrist and the voice of a man who was attempting to mask his anger and failing miserably. "Now, have I caught a little bug trying to get on my food? I had it when insects get on my food, it makes me feel sick, I can't finish the meal and have to go buy something brand new."
Similar to a starving dog near road kill, Alessi wasn't going to allow anything to get in his way. It was an animalistic feature, the complete denial of anything else mattering in this one moment, ignoring all of the normal human desires that usually plagued one's mind, bogging them down, filling them with thoughts like; should I? Shouldn't I? What will they think? What will I do then? In this moment it was just between Alessi and the food in front of him as if he had accidentally entered into some form of food nirvana. You hear stories from time to time about woman who for all intensive purposes have no right lifting more than thirty kilograms at a time, suddenly being able to life cars off of their children or bend an iron bar. The phenonium was called Hysterical strength. Not much was really known about it, or even what caused it in the first place. Some people cited adrenaline others pure maternal instinct. However, in this moment Alessi might have cracked the secret, those mothers really wanted to eat their children.

Not one to be taken off his target, Alessi continued forward to his target. "YEAH, WHATEVER STUPID!" he yelled, his thoughts not issuing much space towards the man. The issue with this however is that the man had enough strength to be pulled along via his hold, but not enough to actually restrict Alessi's movements at all. Thus, when Alessi continued to move forward, the man in the fancy suit was flung forward, flying over the table and hitting the hard wooden floor below. This would arguably be a good time to run, however as previously established hell or high water wasn't going to stop Alessi now. Stuffing the piece of battered fish into his mouth he damn near moaned from pleasure which was saying something. Alessi may be a lot of things, but there was no way he was a moaner. As he moved to scoop a fistful of fries into his mouth he heard a sharp familiar metallic click, followed by the heavy weight of something metal pressing against the base of his skull.

Framed under the heavy sun, the sound of birds around him and with a mouth full of food. There were a lot of ways to die, but feeling like Gilligan on his beach was a pretty great option, considering only just a few moments ago he was pondering whether he would starve to death or not. Yeah, this was a pretty way to go out indeed. However, it would seem that it wasn't Alessi's time at all, as his saving grace came to him in the form of an overweight, balding elderly gentleman. It was no John Travolta, but he would take it.

"Nathanial , I would ask you to reconsider what it is that you're planning to do. As much as we could kill this man right now, I believe it would be in our best interest not to. There's a use for everyone in this world, especially for one who can throw my personal body guard onto the ground in a passing gesture." Lowly raising his head upwards, his mouth still food with food. It was the man in the Hawaiian shirt. Now that he was close, Alessi was really able to see how ridiculous the man looked. He was wearing small purple tinted glasses, as if he was attempting to dress as Elton John, additionally the small amounts of hair that he did have was fluffed out to either side of his skull, like someone plastered his face in front of a black cloud of hair. From this ridiculous style were four pink beads, two on each side hanging from strings which were apparently attached directly into the man's hair. If he hadn't just saved Alessi's life, he probably would have called the man an idiot.

Without waiting for any response from Alessi, the guard behind him removed the gun from his head with a grunt, while the old man continued with his speech as if he was in some Tarantino film. "Alright champ. I have a bit of a proposition for your broke fucking ass. The kind of thing that you should be able to do well, lots of hitting not a lot of thinking. Sounds just like you, right?" Whether the man expected an answer or not was beyond Alessi, however he figured it was better to play along with the man that could have his brain splashed across the nearest wall as if someone dropped their brain slushy. As Alessi nodded meekly, the man continued. "Do you know what the most important aspect is that I look for as an employer? Do you think you could tell me what that is?" Realizing how deep the shit was that he had got himself him, Alessi slowly straightened up, his expression becoming as tight and as bland as stone, giving away nothing that he didn't want to get out. The ultimate poker face, developed through many a loss back in Loguetown. Speaking without having to put much thought into it, "What a person can do, the qualities they possess." Now wasn't the time to mince his words with his usual smart ass attitude, he might be stupid enough to get into this situation, but he would be damned if he wasn't smart enough to get out of it.

A smirk appeared on the man who held his fates face, "And what is it that you can do, what qualities do you possess? What could a guy like you do to impress a guy like me?" Maintaining the same expression which revealed nothing, he raised his arms above the table, as he did so the guard, Nathanial's identification and wallet slid out from his sleeve and hit the table. "I took this when he grabbed at my arm." He said, matter-of-factly. Pausing for a moment, waiting for the man to respond he quickly added "I'm also really good at cooking." The fat man laughed in response, his neck swaying back and forth as he did such. "A cook that has to steal food, brilliant. Now, that's not what I meant. What I think is the most important characteristic a man can have, a man that I wish to employee is being someone that I can trust. Do you understand? I would rather have ten moron's following me who I could trust completely than a team of geniuses who would stab me in the back as soon as I gave them the chance." The reality of the situation began to dawn on Alessi, was this some sort of job application? Seeing the opportunity to make some money, Alessi spoke up. "What kind of pay can I expect doing something like this, I don't want to put my neck on the line for some gangster without getting anything in return." The jolly expression from the man who resembled Santa's face faded away, revealing a hint of the malice that lived just under the surface. "Let's get one thing straight right now, buster. I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then good luck, I hope you're fast enough to out run a bullet."

" I don't mean any disrespect, it ain't like that at all. Of course I want to help. What is it you need done." Now, if never before was a time for diplomacy like no other. The only way he could see getting out of this situation was kissing ass like the man shat fifty-dollar bills, which, considering how he was holding himself, might be entirely possible. It wasn't like this situation was completely new to him, of course. There is always a time like this, even the might high and mighty in the world have to kiss a little ass once and awhile. No one ever got to the top by being born there. No matter how you live your life, there's always going to be something who has something you want, who controls your destiny in one way or another. Of course it will go the other way too, there's those that want to see you happy, the kind of people who want to see you shine, never cry. Life's all about maintaining a decent balance between the two, a spectrum of happiness that we all live on, the problem was that right now Alessi was finding himself at the ass end of this spectrum. He'd had his fair share of happy hours and golden showers. All he could do here was try to fit in and think about how when he gets to the other side he'll be stable and turn the tables.

"Good, the kids got some fucking sense. You hear that Nathanial, he doesn't mean any disrespect, what a nice kid, the kind of guy my Gran' would love. Bless her heart. Now, what I need you to do, my little starving friend is go and collect some outstanding funds for me. There are people who seem to think that I'm running a fucking charity here, you take the money out, you pay it back on time or you deal with the interest." He stuttered, getting more and more worked up as he went, scribbling down several addresses down onto a piece of paper as he did so. "So, I want you to act as muscle, right, you get where I'm going with this don't you. You're not that fucking idiotic, you're smart enough to know you're stupid." Biting back his desire smack this old fools head straight off, he simply nodded signaling his agreement. "Good, good, perfect actually. So you're going to go down and pay these store owners a little visit, because they're owing me a few outstanding funds. Go about it however you want, I don't care. I don't want you to fucking kill anyone, it's bad for business, ask for the money first then you can smash the place up a bit. You'll like that bit, monkey see - monkey smash." Saying nothing, Alessi caught the piece of paper as it was slid towards him. Three addresses were hastily scribbled down, the intent here was obvious, he was to hit them out for outstanding funds and then bring them back here. A tentative sly thought spread across his brain, the kind of idea that's never good to have when dealing with these kind of people. "Tell them Bruno sent you, they'll understand perfectly. I'll meet you back here tomorrow kid, don't keep me waiting." Nodding, Alessi rose and hurried away from the dynamic duo of nut jobs as quickly as he could without arising suspicion.

See it was really smart when you thought about it. The guy seemed to be in deep, so there was no doubt that the guards would be paid off to look the other way, which meant that he was basically being given a free option to rob three different stores for everything they had, and at the end of it the governing force here wouldn't be on his ass, it would be some old fool called Bruno whose personal security he had taken out without even breaking a sweat. No matter which way you looked at it the plan was perfectly sound, the kind of thing that couldn't go wrong, the kind of thing where the odds are good, the plan you wish you had a million bucks to bet on because it's all wins from here on out.

It had been a few hours since he had his run in with Bruno and his man partner, Nathanial. The first store on his list didn't look like much at all, the kind of general store you pass twenty off before you find one that doesn't look like it'll cave in if you lean on the wall. Still, you've got to do what you've got to do. Pushing open the door, the bell above him gave a little tinkle, sounding in time with Alessi's coughing fit from the amount of dust he had apparently upturned. The store was filled with the weird kind of knick-knacks that you might expect a wizard to have, little lizards and organs in distilled orange jars covered the store, as well as a thick layer of dust. At the center of it all was an elderly looking Chinese man. Whether he was aware of Alessi's presence or not wasn't exactly apparent, for all Alessi knew the man might just be legitimately dead. Whatever. He had a job to do and it wouldn't exactly give him any benefit to linger on stupid details like what they looked like. It was better not to get a memory of the people you wrong, they stay around in your dreams and call you bad names. No one wants that kind of shit hanging over them, not even the most dastardly of bastards.

Scratching at the back of his head, he swaggered towards the counter, planting both of his hands on it and assuming a dominate position. He had read about this kind of stuff before, really fills up the room completely. The man didn't move a fucking muscle, he was like some kind of Buddhist monk, he'd probably ascended past being frightened years ago. "Hey old man, want to hear a joke. I've got a real good one, I thought of it along on the way here." He giggled to himself a little. It was true, he had been planning this for ages. " Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him... and says, Catch up." Slapping the table, Alessi let out a bellow of a laugh, filling the building with more sound than it had probably seen in months. "Old man, you got Bruno's money? He's not exactly the kind of guy who likes to wait you know?" He asked, raising back to his full height, peering down at the still man. "It would really suck if someone came in and messed up your stuff before you decided to pay your money back, huh?" He asked, more to himself than anyone else as he suddenly shoved into the shelf beside him with explosive force. Toppling over, the sound of breaking glass radiated from the left side of the store, creating such an over exposure that it would be pointless to try and speak while it was occurring. Glancing back from his handiwork to the old man, he could see that the only difference was the fact that the man's head was now firmly planted on the counter in front of him, the rest of his body completely stiff. Swearing under his breath, Alessi placed his hand against the man's next, confirming his suspicion that the man was indeed a corpse.

That was sort of how it was sometimes. You could just die and then no one would even realize. Thousands of people die every day, but you can fucking bet that not even two thirds of them get remembered or celebrated in some way. People can just disappear and no one even cares, not a single person would even realize, not till you had some smart ass punk come into their property attempting to steal everything that they have.

Sliding over the counter, Alessi took the man in his arms. Lowering him from his stool, his death place down towards the floor. Putting him flat, lying face up with his eyes closed. Searching around the store, he settled on one of the carpets hanging on the wall. Flailing it out over top of the old soul, he laid the bones to rest. It wasn't much but given the circumstances it really was the best that he could do for the man. Not wasting the moment, Alessi began to search through the store, looking for anything that might be able to pay the bill. After about an hour of getting dust up his nose, he uncovered what looked like a safe from one of the back rooms of the store. Ripping the door off confirmed his suspicions as it was full of cash. By the looks of things the guy hadn't spent a dime of the money he had loaned. The idea that the man died the same day he took the loan ran through Alessi's mind, but it wasn't one that was worth lingering on.

Moving on to his second store, he immediately found the place a lot more guarded than he would have expected. Four guards in total, plus the man at the counter put the total population at a whopping five, not exactly the Spanish Armada, but what are you going to do. Pushing open the door, he headed straight for the counter. He had wasted enough time already (3.5k already what the fuck). "Yo, my man, how are we doing today?" He called out, trying to act as friendly as he possibly could. A smile broke out on the store owners face, "Very good today sir, busy life." Together the pair broke into a laughter, the goal seemingly being who could out last the other, or at least that's what it's awkwardly long length would imply. "I heard a funny joke on the way here man, do you want to hear it? Three tomatoes are walking down the street a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Papa tomato begi-" Cutting himself off as he realized he fucked up, he slammed his fist down on the bench in anger causing the wood to split down the middle. As the heat rushed over, he raised an arm to slow them and continued " You know who I am? I'm an associates of your business partner Bruno. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here, it just slipped outta your head?" He didn't get a chance to continue drilling the man as a member of the muscle and grabbed him from behind, putting him in a full nelson.

A hold like that had a lot of strengths and not many weaknesses, however one of the weaknesses is that if your target can overpower your significantly you've effectively just placed yourself into a position to get taken out, and unluckily for this particular man, Alessi could probably benchpress this whole building. Tugging forward with his arms, he heard the familiar pop he had come to recognize so well over his years, the sound of both of the man's arms dislocating from their socket. A scream of pain filling his ear, Alessi was forced to kick the next guard away. The impact of which no doubt liquified the area of impact, sending a ripple of force throughout the body with such an intensity that the mans brain and spinal column would shatter under the impact simultaneously. With two of them men dropping relatively quickly, Alessi was wanting to end this as soon as possible. It was never a good idea to keep these multi-man fights going on for longer than they had to. Grabbing onto the next oncoming guard, he threw him out, aiming him towards the last remaining member of the force. Too slow apparently as the man dodged with ease, weaving closer to Alessi before landing a solid blow onto his face. Abusing the short distance between the two of them, while fueled by the anger of a man who just got punched in the face, Alessi slammed his forehead into the man's face, sending him onto the ground. Dropping with him, he pounded into his face until the body stopped moving, and then he kept punching. Eventually the wet slapping sound of flesh hitting some kind of paste was all that was left. Reaching up to push his hair back with one hand, Alessi glanced down at himself becoming painfully aware of all of the blood that was covering his person. Looking up, he saw the man at the counter apparently paralyzed with fear. "Good, you stuck around. Now, if you want to finish that payment?" He growled out, stumbling to his feet.

A heavy weight now in his pocket, he only had one target left. The problem being that last one had sorta drained him. Wiping at his nose, he was painfully aware that it hadn't stopped bleeding since the fight, additionally his lips were cracked in at least three different places. Still, the winner is the man who doesn't sit down after getting punched in the face. Either way, he wasn't looking to make this next fight a long one. Scanning over the building from the outside, a plan began to form in his devilish brain. From what he could see, there were five guards inside and the one man at the counter. Additionally there seemed to be two or three customers, but at this point he didn't really care about casualties, if it came down between him or them dying he would kill a thousand civilians.

Gripping the street lamp beside him, he gave a grunt as he ripped it from the ground, then using his makeshift spear threw it through the window of the store as if it was a javelin. The result was immediate as if he had let off a bomb or something. Screams from the immediate area, people running, broken glass and brick falling. A thought suddenly went through his head, maybe I should have just asked first... Alas, no time to dwell on such idiocrity, this was a time for action. Running at the store, he leapt through the partially broken window. Immediately he could see that he had taken out two guards already, out of the remaining three he could only see two, the third apparently having taken his chance in the confusion to bail. "Hey, comrade how about we make this easier on the both of us and yo-" He was cut off as a shaking hand shoved a thick brown paper bag towards him. "Take it! Just take it! Tell Bruno I never want to deal with him again, this is the third man he's sent after me, I can't take it anymore!" Counting his blessings and snatching the bag from the man's paws, he took one last scan over the room to make sure he wasn't about to be jumped while he was looking away. Peering into the bag he could see what he could only assume to be the full amount. Swallowing, he was suddenly painfully aware of how shaky and tired he was. He wasn't suited for pulling stunts like this, it just wasn't in his character. It was time for him to make like a tree and get the fuck out of there while he still could. "Well, thank you very much. I'll ensure he gets the message." He lied as he stumbled out of the partially destroyed front of the building, hearing the sound of crushed glass under his feet as he did so. Man, I really need to think before I do this stuff. With that, he was done with the whole situation, having been victorious in his attempt in robbing three stores and a rather pudgy loan shark, although, he did feel pretty bad about the Chinese man, it was a pretty shit way to go out. Walking out, towards the setting sun, Alessi was glad to finally be done with the whole thing.

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